Dear Readers,
Every week, I receive dozens of etiquette questions from you which inspire and motivate me to make new, interesting etiquette content - so thank you.
In those questions, one topic continues to stand out: TABLE MANNERS. It's as if table manners where the biggest pitfall of us all where we feel insecure and petrified of making a mistake. Considering how integrated dining is in our lives, we shouldn't find it surprising.
Today, I’m answering 3 of your most frequently asked questions about table manners. These small details may seem subtle, but they have the power to elevate your presence at any table, so let's go!
Question 1: WHEN SHOULD I START DRINKING WINE? WHEN THE MEAL IS SERVED OR BEFORE?
Answer: It depends on the structure of the meal. If the menu includes wine pairings, each wine will be served alongside its corresponding course. In that case, it’s best to wait until the food arrives to begin drinking, so you can fully experience the pairing as intended.
If, however, you're choosing to enjoy the same wine throughout the entire meal, it will usually be poured before the starter - often alongside water or another beverage.
The one exception is champagne served as an apéritif. It is traditionally offered before any food is served, to prepare and awaken the palate.
Question 2: SHOULD I START EATING WHEN MY PLATE ARRIVES OR WAIT FOR THE OTHERS?
Answer: In a properly run restaurant, everyone’s dishes should arrive at the same time or with only a short delay between each guest’s plate. This is intentional - it ensures that the group can begin eating together, fostering a sense of unity and shared experience.
But of course, things don’t always go perfectly. If your meal happens to arrive before everyone else’s, the right approach is to wait until the others are served. That said, if your companions encourage you to begin - especially if your dish is hot and might lose its intended flavour or texture - you may accept and start eating.
Question 3: CUTLERY CONFUSES ME. WHICH ONE DO I START WITH?
Answer: This is a common concern, especially at formal events with multiple courses. A simple and foolproof rule is to start with the cutlery placed farthest from your plate, and work your way inward with each course. This system is designed to guide you intuitively through the meal.
There is one exception: the dessert spoon and fork, which are sometimes placed horizontally above the plate. These are used last, when it’s time for something sweet.
Just remember, it’s not your job to guess what utensils are needed - the host or restaurant is responsible for setting the table appropriately based on the planned courses (e.g. including a spoon if soup is on the menu).
WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT TABLE MANNERS?
If you’ve ever felt unsure about what to do at a formal table, or you simply want to elevate your poise and presence, my ebook is here to help.
Katarina’s Guide to Western Dining Etiquette is more than a guide; it's a toolkit for transforming your dining experiences into moments of quiet confidence.
Instead of second-guessing which fork to use or how to place the napkin, you'll feel fully at ease - whether you're hosting an elegant dinner party or attending a black-tie event. This guide brings together everything you need to navigate the modern table with self-assurance, charm, and grace.
GET YOUR COPY HERE