Dear Readers,
Ten years ago, I was living in France - bright-eyed, curious, and perpetually addressed as Mademoiselle. In the French culture, where politeness is practically an art form, I was used to hearing that little word every time I entered a boutique, spoke to a waiter, or asked for directions.
Fast forward to last year. I found myself in Monaco - technically a sovereign principality, but still culturally intertwined with France including the French language which is one of the official languages of Monaco. Still the same language, still the same hospitality… but this time, every greeting began with a confident and unwavering “Madam.”
And let me tell you: that made me think.
TIME PASSES QUIETLY (UNTIL IT DOESN'T)
It wasn’t until I heard it repeatedly - Madam, Madam, Madam - that I realised just how much time had passed. A whole decade. And even with the best SPF and skincare routines, our features shift naturally with the seasons of life.
Aging is not something I fear or fight, it’s something I observe with curiosity as you don’t feel the time passing in the moment, but one day, you catch your title changing in a stranger’s greeting, and suddenly you’re reminded: you've lived. And what a ride it’s been.
From Mademoiselle Katarina to Madam Katarina, it wasn’t just about years - it was about the stories, lessons, and growth that led me here. I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
WHAT ETIQUETTE TEACHES US ABOUT TITLES
As someone who teaches etiquette, I’ve often been asked: when should we use Miss, Ms., Mrs., Madam, or Sir?
Miss / Mademoiselle
Traditionally for younger or unmarried women (though the use of Mademoiselle has become controversial in modern France).
Ms.
A neutral and professional option that avoids reference to marital status.
Mrs.
For married women, usually when the woman chooses to be identified that way.
Madam
A formal, respectful address for an adult woman, used regardless of marital status.
Mr.
Traditionally used to address men (either with their full name or last name, never with just the first name, e.g. Mr. John)
MADEMOISELLE THEN, MADAM NOW
With that being said, I also know that in recent years, particularly in France and Monaco, many have consciously moved away from Mademoiselle, recognising that a woman’s marital status is not a prerequisite for how she should be addressed. Several French followers have kindly pointed out this evolution to me - and I thank you for that.
The Katarina who once strolled through the streets of France had no idea what the next decade would bring. But Mademoiselle Katarina would be proud of the Madam Katarina of today.
So here’s to embracing the title, the time, and the aging. As after all, it’s all a privilege.
With warm regards (and impeccable manners)
(Madam) Katarina
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