Dear Readers,
Have you noticed that nowadays, there is an app for literally everything? Name an idea and the chances are someone has already thought of it. From groceries and fitness classes to therapy and meditation, there’s a digital solution for nearly every facet of modern life. Even dating, once rooted in face-to-face meetings and gradual courtship, has been reimagined for the digital age. Today, you can browse potential partners from the comfort of your sofa, in between errands or meetings, and it may feel like the most practical solution in a busy world.
But let’s think twice.
Beneath the surface of convenience lies something more complicated. We live in an era of overconsumption - where not just things, but experiences, people, and emotions often come with an expiration date. Much like fast fashion, where an item is worn two or three times before it begins to unravel, relationships formed in the digital realm can start to feel just as disposable. The question is: what happens when we begin to treat human beings with the same throwaway mindset?
As social creatures, we are designed to build connections through time, effort, and presence. Friendships and partnerships thrive on shared moments, thoughtful gestures, and mutual respect. However, dating apps are not designed to promote patience or depth. Their algorithms and features are carefully engineered to hold your attention and keep you engaged, not necessarily to help you build lasting relationships. With every update comes a sleeker interface, an easier swipe, and a new excuse to keep scrolling.
And let’s be honest - first impressions on these platforms are almost entirely visual. Decisions are made in a matter of seconds, and often based on photos rather than personalities. It’s no surprise, then, that many users feel compelled to present the most polished and idealised version of themselves, even when it strays from reality.
The Austrian neurologist and founder of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, introduced the concept of the “ego” to describe, among other things, our innate desire to be liked, to be loved, and to belong. In the realm of online dating, this desire often manifests in carefully curated images, flattering angles, and bios crafted for approval. It becomes easy to conflate attention with affection, and validation with connection.
Still, technological development is not something to be feared. In fact, when approached mindfully, it offers us tremendous opportunities to meet people - sometimes on the other side of the planet- we may never have crossed paths with otherwise. But it’s essential that we stay grounded in what truly matters. No app can replace the emotional richness of a human connection - the feeling of being truly seen, the excitement of shared vulnerability, the warmth of companionship, or the quiet comfort of someone who simply listens and understands.
Dating apps are not for the weak, and in many urban environments, they may be the only way people are meeting today, as face-to-face interaction has increasingly been pushed to the sidelines. But the solution isn’t to reject them altogether - it’s to use them with integrity.
In my opinion, the only way not to get lost - or catfished - in the world of modern dating is to remain as real and authentic as one can possibly be. Because while the interface may be digital, the feelings we hope to find are entirely human.
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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