Dear readers,
When we talk about elegance and etiquette, we often discuss respect for others and our surroundings. However, respect for oneself is equally important and should never be overlooked.
Once we embark on a journey of self-growth, sophistication, and refined manners, we inevitably change, and with that, our surroundings may or may not react positively. More often than not, they do react negatively.
In today’s newsletter, I’ll share a story about a friendship that was once strong and unbreakable - until one day, it was no more.
When I turned 18, I moved out of Slovakia, my home country, and have since lived in various places. Those who have moved abroad will recognize the loneliness that can accompany a world where everything - the food, the culture, the neighbourhood, and the customs - is new and unfamiliar. But as days go by and you settle in, friendships begin to form, and some last a lifetime. Throughout my journey abroad, I tended to bond with people “in the same boat,” so to speak - fellow foreign students or young professionals also navigating the thrilling, sometimes daunting experience of living in a foreign country.
This was how I met my friend - let’s call her Chloe. We were both from Eastern Europe, around the same age, and attending the same university. Her presence was a breath of fresh air, as we could walk this journey together, helping each other with everything from bureaucracy to understanding the job market as foreigners.
My passion for etiquette and elegance was a late-blooming one. I had always felt drawn to refinement in every aspect of life, but it took me some time to start living accordingly. After graduation, during the unprecedented times of COVID, I suddenly found myself with an abundance of free time - something I’d never had before.
It was at that moment that I decided to fully embrace my passion. I signed up for etiquette classes and dedicated considerable time and effort to building my own little business.
Sadly, I couldn’t help but notice that my friendship with Chloe began to suffer. Conversations grew sparse, and my new journey into refinement was met with eye rolls. I was first called "posh" and a "snob," and soon I was ignored entirely. Since we were living together at the time, avoiding each other was difficult, and the situation became quite painful. Eventually, after trying to reconnect by knocking on Chloe’s door, I was met with silence. We never spoke again.
Yet, as with every storm, there came a breakthrough. This experience helped me truly understand what personal growth and refinement entail. Certainly, clothes and how we carry ourselves play a role, but even more significant is the respect we hold for ourselves. Standing by Chloe’s door, ignored, I promised myself never again to disrespect myself by chasing a relationship that would not be reciprocated.
Disclaimer: I want to note that this story is just my side. Perhaps if I had heard Chloe’s perspective, we might still be friends.
Dear readers, if there’s one takeaway from my story, it’s this: don’t fear self-growth. With it comes knowledge, maturity, and self-discovery. People may come and go, and their departure will always be painful. But perhaps they, too, are on a journey that no longer aligns with yours.
Wishing you a beautiful day ahead,
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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