Dear Readers,
Today’s newsletter is a little bittersweet - but there’s no need to worry. Etiquette teaches us to respond to any situation with grace and poise, and our knowledge is tested even more when the situation is not exactly pleasant.
I’ve been an active user of social media since I turned 16. It started with Facebook (yes, I’m a millennial) and gradually expanded to YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok.
For many years, I was only a consumer, not a creator. But in 2022, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and share the secrets of etiquette online - knowing full well that I might look quite entertaining while publicly performing the don’ts of etiquette. Well, I took one for the team in order to build this wonderful community of etiquette enthusiasts I’m proud to have you in today.
However, as the saying goes, no pain, no gain - I still remember reading my very first hate comment.
And by hate comment, I don’t mean someone politely disagreeing with my teachings. I mean someone bluntly and vulgarly calling me names.
In an ideal world, people would follow only what truly interests them - without feeling the need to broadcast their (often negative) opinions across the internet. Ironically, though, some believe that without hate, the internet would become a rather boring place.
When I began teaching etiquette online, I knew I was stepping into unknown waters - full of sharks and alligators - but I had (and still have) hope that my passion for etiquette would reach the right audience.
That’s why it saddens me even more that social media algorithms are so ruthless: the more comments, messages, and shares a post gets, the better it performs - even if those interactions are full of insults.
But after all, any exposure is good exposure… or is it?
I would be lying if I said that demeaning and insulting comments don’t affect me. But I’ve also learned that it gets better with time. The first hate comment always hits harder than the hundredth.
So if you find yourself on the same path, please don’t let it discourage you. Sadly, it’s part of the game - but it does get better. Not the hate itself, but your ability to handle it. Your skin thickens.
TIPS HOW TO DEAL WITH ONLINE HATE
I wish I could give you a bulletproof tip that makes everything better - but I’m afraid no such thing exists.
The easiest (and often the most triggering for the online aggressor) is to simply ignore it. Only in very rare cases, a hate comment may be an attempt to start a constructive debate - one where arguments and respectful language replace insults. In most cases though, it’s just a waste of time.
I take great pride in knowing that, in the sea of hateful comments and messages I’ve received over the past year and a half, I haven’t responded vulgarly even once.
That’s not to say I don’t have a whole list of sarcastic, witty comebacks saved in my notes - but I know what happens when you add fuel to the fire.
And after all, fire isn’t what I aim to promote on my channel. I promote etiquette and good manners.
If you’re thinking about becoming a content creator - or if you’ve already experienced being called everything but your actual name - I want to take this opportunity to, first, show you great respect for putting yourself out there, and second, encourage you to keep going.
There’s a unique and indescribable satisfaction in knowing you followed your calling, despite all odds.
And if nothing else, always remember: the head that wears the crown is always the heaviest.
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
Receive new etiquette tips from Katarina every week, sign up here.
Get Your Bespoke Etiquette Plan ✨
Struggling with etiquette in social or professional settings? THE GRACE GUIDE is your bespoke solution - tailored advice crafted just for you. Whether you're preparing for a formal event, a career milestone, or simply refining your presence, this custom etiquette plan will equip you with the confidence and grace to shine.
➡️ Personalised guidance for your unique concerns
➡️ Step-by-step solutions you can apply instantly
➡️ Cultural awareness to make the right impression anywhere
➡️ Delivered in just 5 days - ready when you need it
🎁 Bonus: Ebook Katarina’s Guide to Western Dining Etiquette for FREE
Get your Grace Guide here.