''Dear Katarina, I am seven months pregnant and as much as I am excited about having a baby, people around me keep constantly patting my baby bump. I don’t mean only my close friends and family, but colleagues or an acquaintance I met on the street randomly. Is there any etiquette rule about this? Thank you!''
C. R.
Dear C. R.,
thank you for your question!
First of all, please accept my heartfelt congratulations on your pregnancy and soon-to-be-mom role.
In many cases, pregnancy is linked with joyful emotions such as excitement, love and care. For many people, they wish to share the joy with you and be ''a part'' of your journey by caressing the baby indirectly through patting the baby bump.
As heartwarming as their intentions might be, they are also directly violating your personal space. Now, most people are not acting out of malice, in fact, they might think they are helping you by acknowledging this new life experience of yours. However, that does not give them a free ticket to touch your belly, or in fact any part of your body without consent.
If pregnancy wasn’t a topic, many of us would find it awkward to approach others and touch their - let’s say - hair, just because they just got a new haircut. Same rules apply to pregnancy and your child after they are born.
If you happen to find yourself in a situation when your baby bump gets too much unwanted attention, you have the right to set a boundary. Without over-explaining yourself, simply state: ''Thank you for the attention, but I am not comfortable with being touched. I appreciate your understanding.''
If you don’t mind others caressing your baby bump, you can be open about it and nudge others to ''feel the kicking'', if that’s what makes you comfortable. Naturally, the other person also has the right to refuse if it doesn’t make them comfortable.
I hope you found an answer to your question.
Wishing you a beautiful day ahead!
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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