Dear Readers,
Over the years, I’ve learned that dining etiquette isn't about being fancy - it’s about creating comfort, showing respect, and navigating table manners with ease rather than tension. Whether you’re at a formal dinner party, a networking lunch, or a garden party, the little things you do (and don’t do) at the table say a lot.
Let me share my top three simple, timeless tips I always carry with me - ones that can help anyone navigate a table setting with grace.
1. DON’T RUSH
When you’re dining with others, one of the rudest things one can do right at the beginning, is to start eating before the others. If the event has an assigned host, good manners is to start eating only when the host does as they set the rhythm.
Sitting down and starting nibbling on food before the others are seated or served sends a signal of impatience and disrespect.
Beware, there is one exception to this rule: if you’re at a large event where food is served in waves, it’s polite to start once everyone at your table has been served (you don’t need to wait for the whole room or the host if they are seated at a different table). This keeps things smooth and prevents your meal from getting cold while still honouring etiquette.
2. THE CUTLERY COMPASS
A beautifully set table can be a bit intimidating at first glance - so many forks, spoons, and knives! This is where many of my clients feel stuck and panic kicks in. Thankfully, there’s a wonderfully simple rule to rely on:
Always work your way from the outside in.
The outermost utensils are meant for the first courses (like soup or salad), and you’ll gradually move inward as the meal progresses. It's almost like your table is guiding you through the experience - one course at a time. The choice of cutlery should be aligned with the menu (e.g. a soup spoon is set only if soup is served on that occasion).
3. FINISHED OR JUST TAKING A BREAK?
How your cutlery communicates without saying a word is essential for the servers to understand whether you wish to continue eating your meal or you are already finished. It's a silent language, but once you know it, you’ll not only make the job easier for the staff, but also gain confidence over the rhythm of dining.
Here is the key:
Taking a break? Rest your knife and fork in an inverted V, with the handles apart:
Finished your meal? Align your cutlery parallel on your plate:
In British and Continental etiquette, place them parallel pointing to 6.00 on the clock.
In American style, the angle is 4.20 on the clock.
Both are correct - it simply depends on which style you follow. Either way, it helps servers know when to approach without interrupting.
DO YOU WISH TO FEEL CONFIDENT AT EVERY MEAL?
These are just the first steps into a much richer world of dining etiquette. If you’re curious to go deeper, I’d love to invite you to explore my ebook:
KATARINA'S GUIDE TO WESTERN DINING ETIQUETTE
Embark on a 25-course tasting menu of knowledge that will transform how you approach every dining occasion. Whether you're preparing for a gala, a romantic dinner, or simply want to brush up on your skills, this guide is designed to make you feel confident, elegant, and fully present at the table.
INSIDE, YOU WILL FIND:
- How to dress appropriately for different occasions
- Table seating do’s and don’ts
- How to use and hold silverware (European vs. American style)
- Wine glassware etiquette
- A breakdown of each course: from apéritif to digestif
- And yes - a free bonus on how to handle tricky foods like oysters, caviar or shrimp
Dining well isn’t about perfection - it’s about presence, respect, and enjoying the shared ritual of a meal without the unnecessary stress of the unknown. I hope my tips and my ebook will help you gain confidence for your future seamless dining experiences.
Yours sincerely,
Katarina
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